David and I had just finished singing Asher his bedtime song, and were settling on the couch for an hour or two of work with 90 Day Fiancé on in the background, when I swiped open my email and saw an invitation to the White House. I was already heading to DC to take part in the #trendingup conference, for creators who use their platform for social impact, so I thought it was just part of that, related to our offsite visits, but Joe Biden was I wrong…
This email came from the White House digital team with an invitation to share my thoughts with the team in the West Wing and have a q&a with senior staff. Um what?!? The five-year-old immigrant girl in me couldn’t quite believe what she was reading. The folks at the White House want to hear from me? What a genuine honor… but also like.. really? They had to have seen my many criticisms of their boss online… are they sure they want to hear what’s going to come out of my mouth? My platform may not be massive, but using it to advocate for important causes has long been a priority. So despite imposter syndrome and a case of nerves, there wasn’t a snowball’s chance in hell I was turning this invite from Joe and co down.
After immediately responding yes, my mind went straight to the two things I needed to prepare for this meeting: How to share my thoughts on Joe and ’em without cussing so much. And what, what on earth, was I going to wear to the fucking White House. With my carryon mostly packed for my 3 night trip before my flight the next day, I was limited on time and options, historically not my favorite wardrobing situation.
My granny always told me to dress as I wished to be regarded, and I’ve taken that to heart. My attire is often am armor, the outward expression of who I am. Obviously, I knew I’d dress up, but I also needed to fully feel like myself in what could be an overwhelming situation. I polled my Instagram followers debating a pant suit or a short pants suit, and y’all leaned hard towards the solid choice of the Elie Tahari gingham pants suit. But y’all, I’m just not a pants kinda girl…
And after my girlfriend Elizabeth Holmes, a bestselling author and a fashion expert who specializes in heads of state and royals, gave me the courage to go knees out, I decided to lean into my usual classic feminine style, even at the White House. (Maybe I should’ve worn a bra, but whatever). I actually own multiple short pant suits, but decided that kelly green was the choice, over floral, pastel, or black. I’ve had mine, from Skies are Blue, for several years, but will source and link some lookalikes. I kept my accessories low key, with a tan ribbed tank, block heels, and pearls. Elle Woods in Washington has nothing on me.
So much for style, onto the substance. I’ve had a servant’s heart my whole life, have consistently raised my voice in support of those who cannot, and as a little girl, my biggest goal was to make a difference. Getting to use the platform I’ve worked so hard to grow, to support common sense and science, to use my privilege for good, is really such a validation in a merciless industry. I’m not shy about (informed) opining on social issues, the government, and most near anything, and and though I’m perpetually polite, I’m also a firm believer in “kind is not nice, kind is honest.” And there’s a whole list of concerning trends in our country that I brought up with the Biden team.*
Sitting down at a long table in the vice president’s office, with a placard that said my name with the golden White House on it, was actually surreal. Though I’ve toured it a both as a student and as a Washington Mardi Gras queen, this was far from the standard visitor’s tour. I’d obsessively watched the West Wing, but never pictured myself in a meeting there. I felt like Ainsley Hayes her first time at the White House, though thankfully I did not try to pee in a closet.
I believe that we do need to talk far more casually and openly about sociopolitical issues because, let’s be real, the political has long been personal, and we as a country have only been hindered by lack of discussion, communication, understanding other perspectives and recognizing shades of grey. If we’re going to make change in our communities and world, it starts with thoughtful conversation, so let’s go.
love, Ravayna
* I focus my energy and support behind causes and ideals, far more important than any candidate. Reproductive freedom, gun control, public school funding, especially for special needs programs, affordable and accessible healthcare, student loan cancellation, keeping religious fundamentalism out of the government, taxing the rich, holding big businesses accountable (especially when it comes to environmental concerns,) the militarization and brutality of our police force, disability and accessibility, funding and mongering international warfare, the nightmare that is global climate change… these are just some of the items on my list of concerns.
